Who’s your Daddy?

„It’s been about a year now that I met this girl in a bar.
She was straight up gorgeous and her body had you thinking about Sex as soon as she walked into the place.
At the time I simply wanted to fuck, no strings attached, just fun without any bullshit.
I’d say I’m pretty confident and straight forward so I had to take a shot.
And I did.
Not knowing anything about how crazy things were going to get later. 

We sat down at the bar. I got us a drink, we flirted, she was into me too I could see that and I had a hard time staying focused on what she was saying because… you know Liquor and my own imagination.

As time went by things got heated and I knew exactly I was going to get what I came for.
We decided to leave the place and go to hers instead, got a cab, made out in the backseat. She already started touching me all over the place and you know you’re boy was having it (lol).

So we get to her place and it’s fucking fire.
I mean, shit was like out of a fucking Kardashian Episode.
I should’ve asked myself how a 25 year old was making enough to afford a place like that but I just assumed that she lived with her parents.
Kinda turned me on to be honest and I was imaging myself fucking her like a damn rockstar in this musicvideolike place.
While her rich parents are there and have no clue about it.
Hell fucking yes.

But hell fucking no.

We go to her room, the place is really just nice but I’m all focused on the Sex right now so I thought I’d think about all that later.
She immediately throws herself on the bed and starts this little show. I like what I see, smile and get undressed while watching, before I climb in bed to join her.
Ok Baby, HERE. WE. GO.

The door swings open and my surprised ass goes flying off the bed.
I mean FLYING.
Blankets and all.

So, first of all here I am sitting on the floor, naked, wrapped in a blanket, looking like E.T. in fear.
What if they have security here or some shit, you know!?

But to my relief it was just some elderly man holding a cat (picture that). He kinda looked like another version of some type of Hugh Hefner.
Like if that isn’t already enough, dude is wearing a fucking robe (picture that!!!!).

Anyways what was he doing in here?? 

I look to the bed trying to figure out what’s going on but girl is just over there chilling. All relaxed.
I’m still hoping it’s her confused grandpa, sleepwalking or something so I ask
„Ummmm…. So… this is…?“
And she says „Oh hey Daddy“ – and I thought she was talking to ME.
But nope.
She was looking straight at grandpa, smiling.
Then I thought she meant ‚Daddy‘ as in ‚biological producer‘, but she was talking ‚DADDY Daddy‘.
And Daddy is starting to take off his robe.
(Well…at least we know who’s paying for this place now)

Oooookay, NOPE. I ain’t having it.

I wasn’t trying to see no wrinkly ass ball sack tonight.

Off I go, in my blanket cape, collecting all my shit on the way out. Still naked.
I get outside, now standing in front of the fucking mansion and I didn’t feel like a fucking rockstar at all anymore man. Still naked.
I must’ve looked like a dumbass getting dressed in the driveway but at least I was lucky enough to get a cab right away. Dipset.
That would’ve been the beginning of a really weird porn and I’m just glad I wasn’t in it.

You can’t make this shit up, really.
Safe to say I chose more carefully now. All that glitters ain’t gold, let me tell you.

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